Uncle Geoff: Part 4.

Someone once said......"All good things must come to an end" and who ever said this must of been very wise, because its absolutely true. We thank people like Nelly Furtado for pasting these words of great wisdom on to people struggling with life. And.....for Geoff they had all abruptly ended.

"Wheres the tea dear?" said Auntie Gertrude. "Coming......honey" sighed Geoff. Geoff with tea tray in hand stood beside the kitchen window starring at the playground across the street. This was something he had done for the last 2 years, it pleased him to see the children frolicking. ".....where does the time go" he sighed once more. "Dear? you coming?" said Auntie Gertrude anxiously. "Oh yes...." he replied. Geoff carried the tray and sat it on a dark wooden coffee table. He poured his "dearest" a mug and took a seat by the fire in a comfy armchair. 2 years of marriage to this hag was dreadful and still, since the first day they had met he had kept such a happy and calm resolve to draw her in. "Hmmmm....must work for the old fold as well" he thought. As he drank his tea he quietly drifted off into memory, thinking about time lost.

"Ahh! something touched me!" screamed Billy. "Its okay, its okay, its just my wizard snake". said uncle Geoff. Summer days around the back of the bike shed at Mary Maflagon elementary school. uncle Geoff loved the children and the children loved uncle Geoff. Until one unfortunate day when a teacher on duty saw uncle Geoff and Billy together. "My dear god Billy!" screamed the teacher. The teacher sharply blew her whistle and the next thing Geoff knew was he was in prison . Prison life was hard, constant shaking and erotic shower scenes with men made it hard to enjoy. Uncle Geoff and Billy tried to keep their relationship strong but it was too hard due to Geoff's confinements and they had to call it off. The days went slow and children-less nights even slower. Geoff was in for life with no chance of parole.

Sounds of fighting and vandalism woke Geoff up. It was a riot, the doors to his cell were open and Geoff quickly picked up the picture of Billy and bolted out the door. Running, he met a mexican-jewish imate named Marco de la Sanchez. Marco told him of the escape plan and together they made their way to the prison docks. Sadly as they were boarding the boat to freedom, Marco de la Sanchez was shot 216 times in the back. "Senior Geoff....tell my wife *cough* ....tell my wife and kids that I love them" and without another word he died. "I will Marco.....I will" said uncle Geoff as he revved the boat engine. "...but mostly your kids".

Uncle Geoff made his escape. And the little boat that could made it all the way to Mexico. Geoff assumed Marco's life and became a children's party planner. He enjoyed this very much and after the parties gave the birthday boys a special treat. Uncle Geoff acquired enough peso's to visit America and so he did and there he met the "love" of his life. This gave Geoff his citizenship but the hag he married knew his secret and said if he ever went around playing with little boys again she would send him back to Mexico. So eventually the uncle Geoff we know and love faded and became normal.....

"Here you are honey" said Geoff. "Thank you dear" said Auntie Gertrude receiving the tea. "Now isn't this better than touching little boys?". "Yes...." replied Geoff softly. "Well this tea tastes faintly of almonds hmmmm....funny that" said Gertrude. "Its the same as always honey". Eventually dear old Auntie Gertrude slumped back in her chair, dead. "Yes!" said uncle Geoff. "I'm back!......now wheres Billy?"

The End.

His house.

His house, illuminated by the light casted by the moon stood out in the dense shroud of trees. The sounds of urks and ahhs that came from the building entreated me. They greeted me. I was invited, just like all the children in the village. The night was cold and the air was thick with anticipation. The house, his house was wrath with it. I wanted to go inside, everybody did. The house drew us all in. The crowd of children, all marching to the doorstep of his mysterious house must of delighted him. The owner of a house the had tickled our intrigue. Finally we, united were on his front lawn. We chanted and sang for the owner to greet us and then invite us into his abode. Suddenly the door of the house flew open and the mans trenchcoat engulfed us in darkness. There was forever silence.

The touch of a lover.

Colorful van and caressing hands.
Trench coat of woe and wizard snake of no.
His truck is his trap, your anatomy, his map.
Geoff's kind of magic is harsh and cruel.
Horribly so that he may rule.
King of the pedophiles, king he shall be.
The king in hell, where all the wizards dwell.
Geoff's in prison and all the kiddies are missin'.

The ugly duckling.

"Oh....oh woe is me" said the boy. Billy was sad "I'm the ugliest person in the world". Billy was use to criticism, as harsh as it can be.....hes had his fair share. All the people in his town thought he was repulsive.....or so he thought. For on one day he met a person that was different from the rest, that person didn't care what the others thought and liked Billy for Billy. The person taught Billy to love and be loved. It turned his life of depression to happiness and boyish fantasy. The person wove amazing tale that interested the boy and every day the person showed Billy new and exciting tricks. Everyday Billy met with this person. They talked and talked but never once in any of their conversation was Billy told a name. Billy was curious and after he pressed the person, and pressed once more he was told........The person said......."You can call me....Geoff".

Friday Pieday.

Friday the 13th is a special time of year. The time of year when my not so sophisticated uncle Geoff lurks around corners. You see good ol' uncle Geoff is a different kind of terror one that preys on little boys and girls alike. It just so happens that our favourite uncle has recently acquired an old ice cream truck where he sells a different kind of frozen treat to the youth of the town. Even though Geoff's in prisons now I still hear the tune of ice cream truck as it rings in my ears every friday the 13th.....da da da daaaaa de da de da......dada da da da de da dadada daa de da.......

a Magic show.

Every Christmas I enjoy a magic show from my favourite old uncle. Uncle Geoff always has new tricks but I love his magical wizard snake trick most of all. This year I was especially excited, I hadn't seen uncle Geoff in many years and there was bound to be some new tricks gathering up in that "Wizard Sleeve" of his since its been such a long time. This year he had promised to come so I went around to the back of the bike shed where I'd always used to meet him and waited...and waited...and waited. It got late and everybody that use to be at school had left to go home. At around 8:00pm he suddenly emerged from the shadows. I'd never remembered uncle Geoff as the cleanest person around but I don't remember him being so greasy. My parents always said to stay from my favourite uncle and I'd never realised why, he was so cool in my eyes, but as the moon shone on his harsh exterior and tattered clothes I began to see why, and as he opened his trench coat I ran back home.